sarcasmwriters

One day teacher asks question to students inside the classroom Students what do you want to be when you grow up? Sunil stands up and answered the question I want to be a billionaire, going to the most expensive hotel, buy world expensive car, have beautiful girl friend and give her a Mercedes worth over a million bucks, an apartment in London, a mansion in Dubai, a private jet and infinite visa card to travel with my love all over the world. The teacher was shocked and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of Sunil. He told other students not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Teacher ask the same question to one female student Jasmine what do you want to be when you grow up? Jasmine replied, I want to be Sunil's girl friend

A new, young MD when doing his residency in OB, was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?” She replied, “No doctor, but the song you were whistling was “I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.”

One of my biggest lie is my 'Welcome' door mat! Banta: If a woman is quiet, which day is it? Santa: Who cares, just enjoy that day! Guys need your help: In the middle of an argument, my wife told me I was right! What the hell do I do next? The biggest dilemma for an environmentalist in Washroom: "Should I save water or save paper?" You can travel all over the earth just to find out that you are miserable everywhere! How to get a flat tummy in 2 seconds? Lie down! Have you ever thought that all of the money you have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet! Yesterday, our honorable finance minister said, "It will take another two to three-quarters for the situation to improve." So I bought 3 quarters last night. After all, it's my duty also, towards the nation. I woke up in the morning, but nothing had changed! So I'm trying again tonight! Monday is the guy you don't invite to the party, but he al...

One night husband reach home late and knock the door Husband: Please open the door for me Wife: Go back where you coming from Husband: Open the door or I throw myself in the swimming pool Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, I don't care you So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 3 minutes, takes a big stone and throws it into the swimming pool Wife hears and opens the door and runs towards the swimming pool. The husband quickly sneak into the house then locks the door. Wife: Open the door or I will shout Husband: Shout till all the neighbours wakes up and comes here And tell them where you are coming from by this time, wearing only your under garments

A man walks into a pub and asks the barman for a pint of bitter. The barman says, 'Bitter's off just now, we're waiting for the dray and a delivery.' The man says, 'OK then, I'll have a rum and coke.' After drinking his rum and coke, he goes back to the bar and asks again for a pint of bitter. Once again the barman says that they don't have any, so the man orders a screwdriver. He drinks his screwdriver. He then goes back and asks yet again for a pint of bitter. The barman says 'Look, if you take the rum out of a rum and coke, what do you have?' The man replies, 'Coke.' 'If you take the vodka out of a screwdriver, what do you have?' The man replies, 'Orange juice.' 'Now, if you take the flame out of a pint of bitter, what do you have?' The man looks puzzled, 'There is no flame in a pint of bitter.' The barman replies, 'That's what I've been trying to tell you!'  ф